Rewriting

So. The time has come to re-tackle an old draft and make it new. I re-read the old draft. It had its moments, but as a whole, it blew. The blowing was due to (because of? damn you, grammar) the too-goofy tone in some of the dialogue. It's gotta be elemental, brutal, basic. It has to be pure, hardboiled. Like Mexican Parker. Almost cyberpunk. Just Hemingwayed to the bones of story and speech, right down the line.
The protagonist speaks little. Is an enigma. Both riddle and sphinx. He acts, leaves the talking to others. He is fire.
There are things in the draft I liked. A lot. The women, actually, weren't bad. More about them later. The action beats are decent, but could be upped.
More later.